Into One Soul

Beloved Miracle,

There will be ups and downs in our lives which will make us lose faith, but nothing can compare to the endless love that I am unable to give up. People search for one true love that they yearn for their entire life and yet fail to recognize the heart that speaks of it.

I can’t look for you outside myself because my dreams are yet to become a reality. Even how much I want to abandon ship when I feel intensely afraid, I can’t escape nor hide from you— the reason is you are my other self. You are the other part of me that I need to reunite with to feel and become whole in this lifetime. Yes, I am capable of living my life without you, I am sure of that, but the longing of our union won’t leave me alone, and I will be breathless if I once again chase you. I have gone to the end of the world to find you, and I saw you. I didn’t just go to the other side of the earth without reason, what I did was descending from the heavenly realm with my head first to prepare for the coming of the Goddess, the Divine Feminine.

I am whole, but the yearning for my one true love makes it impossible for me to feel complete. Living here on earth has taught me so much about being human, and it’s to accept the fact that I am vulnerable. Within the core of my being, I am delicate and oh’ so sensitive, and it’s the softness of my love for you that caress me so tenderly, wanting me to drop my protecting armor again and again. It begs me each time when my heart hardened by the frost of being alone to tear down the shield and let love moves freely. Love said, “Let me coated your soul like honey. Let me be like a balm soothing your pain and scars. Let me seeps through all the cracks in your soul and healed your wounds completely.”

And once again I surrender to love because I can’t only love myself without loving you, I can’t fill the void that is like a bottomless pit, because it’s endless, I fall into it knowing all along that you are there. The abyss of my yearning to drop to the ground and land safely is to know you are there catching me. “Are you there?” I asked in the midst of the fog.

My love, I called for you, not because I am some person with the obsessive tendency to catch you and imprisoned you, I am your Divine Feminine calling out for you to remember the love that boils within your heart — the Divine Feminine that is within you as much as the Divine Masculine is within me.

I said to myself, “I long not, I long not, I long not! My beloved is within me all along.” Just like what Rumi said;

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If there’s any place for us to be together in our union, then let’s meet each other in our hearts while we dance and merge into one soul. Imagine you and me into the existence of the reality of our dreams.

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I AM The Life

Beloved Miracle,

Oh’ I pray that my vessel will be filled with love as the day goes by and I surrender to the heart and clear out space for the divine to commune with me. It’s strange to be in a body as a soul, at times I wonder if I am the light to the world, or will I be consumed by the darkness when I see death and destruction obstruct people to live in peace and harmony.

It was indeed lonely to start this journey while being in amnesia and forgot who I am. Looking back I have tried to fit in, but within me, I felt different. “Being a human is quite challenging,” I thought to myself. I have forgotten how to be me, the way I used to be before I descend to this place with so much density – the truth of being a light being was wiped out from my memories.

Within the passage of time, years and years went by I became an observer. I went about my day quietly while contemplating life’s mystery. “There’s nothing wrong with life, but why do people struggle so much?” I kept thinking about the way people interacted with each other. It was confusing and at times frustrating. People said one thing but meant something else. They lied about their feelings and ran for the truth. Slowly and sadly I adopted their behavior. I was never malice or managed to lie intentionally, but I figured out it was “good” to throw in a white lie when I didn’t want to do something or because I wanted to avoid talking about my true feelings. But then I found you, and it felt like home, and I wished not to lie anymore, because somehow you were looking right through me and asked me a simple question, “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing?” At last, I also asked myself this question. It felt so wrong to lie to my beloved, the one whose eyes have peered into my soul and stripped me off my mask. I loved you so much at that moment and at the same time I feared you would see how horrendous I was if you saw me naked because that was how it felt the moment you looked me straight in the eyes. “Dear Lord, let her not see my faults and ugliness!” And then I ran. I ran off without a second thought of how it would make you feel, but all the while I felt this pain of abandonment and fear of rejection, it was the same feelings you had always felt within you. “Why is it so?” If you would ask me that question, I have to answer, “Because we are one soul in two bodies, whatever one of us feel, the other sense it too.”

I couldn’t lie to you, and neither could you lie to me. We are bound to see everything in each other, and it could and would be intense if neither of us has healed our wounds. We are lovers of the ancient times, incarnated in various lifetimes throughout the multiverse where we have been chosen to come here on planet earth to serve and become the warriors of the light. “Dear Lord, how do I serve humanity while I feel this longing for my beloved?” I asked God so many times when the aching pain in my heart jolt me to tears.

“Long not, because the beloved is within you,” God replied in such a confident voice. He commends the mission I am here to do and leads me through the narrow alley within my crippling mind. I felt so disordered mentally, but yet so strong spiritually. Emotionally I was a mess and physically weak into my bones. Whereas I found you out there, I’ve got to keep you safe within me. When I felt all hope was gone, you whispered tenderly with your mellow voice that I could still go on, and so I kept going on until this day.

The beloved I was seeking for out there was all along within me, and it was such a joy to understand the meaning “as within, so without,” and you filled my vessel up with love. Your angelic voice echoed in my mind reminding me to be soft with myself when I forget that there’s nothing wrong with life, that whatever poise to be difficult is in truth a blessing in disguise.

Yes, there’s nothing wrong with life, and there’s nothing wrong with me because – I AM the Life.

 

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The Meaning of Life

Beloved Miracle,

The hour of darkness is approaching us slowly, winter is right around the corner, and the frost will cover the land with snowflakes. It’s a season of rest where everything will lay still waiting to grow again in spring. Between the day and night, the hours of business don’t forget that within you the buds of the flowers are waiting to bloom. As you remind me to live, I want to remind you to rest and nurture yourself so that the buds within you will flourish when spring arrives.

The world is moving at a fast pace, and everyone includes us are prone to stress and forget to breathe. We lament over the loss of our youth because of this fast track where we can’t stop to enjoy what is. What is, is. The beauty of nature, of the sunset and the stars, are often being overlooked because we tend to be caught up in our daily tasks. There are bills to pay, relationships to deal with and jobs we need to go to, and with all the respect for the lives that has always been, it’s still not the way to live our lives. I can’t speak for all of us, but I’m speaking on behalf of those who yearn to find meaning in their lives.

Before I met you, life was a struggle, and I sought after my purpose of living. I wandered in the darkness trying to find my way out. I never thought that everything I experienced in the past led me to you. I had this inner compass which I was so afraid to use because no one has ever taught me how to use it, but still, I was out there seeking and knocking on doors to find the meaning to my life. At times I failed and fell into prey for people’s unconscious behavior, I made heaps of mistakes, but I learned from them, mostly the hard way. Although life had it twists and turns the road towards my life purpose was litten up like neon signs, and sometimes I got lost in the myriad of dark imagining where I needed to meet my shadows and demons, but I still manage to pave my way and prepare myself to meet you.

What happened to my life when I met you? Honestly, you turned my world upside down, and the wall I had built around my heart crumbled because the foundation within me was already filled with cracks. It wasn’t steady at all, and the disordered of who I was then began to show its ugly head. You mirrored back to me everything I needed to heal, at times it was so intense that I needed to pull away and even run because I wasn’t ready to meet myself that deeply. Also though I run for life, I still yearn to love you and be loved unconditionally. The interlude between pulling away and reconnecting between us escalated as time pass by. I saw the beauty in you, but at the same time, I saw my own ugliness. The wounds of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc were overwhelming. It even made me so sick and dizzy. All the while I felt I needed your love, you in the other hand decided to pull away, but it was in truth my salvation. Because of the time, we spent from each other was the only time I needed to heal myself and to recover from my traumas and issues. Even though I wasn’t blindfolded, but I was still blind from the fact that whatever I needed was within me, and you were there to light up my way and guide me through.

The meeting with you in this physical world has given me so much, and because of you I also find a meaning to my life, and it’s to live to the fullest while overcoming the shadows within my mind and heal what needs to be healed. There is so much shadow work I’m doing at the moment while pouring out my love to you; meanwhile, you are not here, I remind myself to give as many thoughts to love myself fully too. If I can’t love myself unconditionally, then I can’t love you the same way which I know I want to, because at my core I know this is what is most real to me. Worldly love of the old 3D template is in no comparison to the divine love I am here to emit.

While I found you, I found my life purpose, and it’s the simplest thing in the whole world; being an example of unconditional love.

You are the unconditional love I am here to experience and teach – the most significant meaning in life is to love.

quote joyce meyer

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A Loving Reminder

Beloved Miracle,

Whether you know it or not, being in a condition of self-destructive thoughts are harming and I know this to be true because I struggle to love myself unconditionally. As a sentient being, I am aware of the depth of my own emotions, and surprisingly it affects you as well. It doesn’t matter how many times I want to depart and “go home,” my feeling of responsibility won’t let me, because the mission I am here to do is not finish. It’s somewhat irresponsible to leave the world in its worst condition than before I came and I chose to descend for a reason, and it’s to leave this place better than what it was.

In the middle of everything I am going through, the continuous pattern of my destructive thoughts makes it hard for me to be a human being. Yes, I am a human being, but it’s half true to what I believe because walking this spiritual path has led me to experience being a human as a spiritual being and not a human being having a spiritual experience.

Dear, I know, I have been hard on myself for as long as I know. I have created a high standard for myself being like God, but I am not nearly as Godlike. And when I failed to be happy, to forgive and not judge, I felt such a disappoint towards myself. But through the humility of making mistakes in life, I learned not to be arrogant. God created us humans in His image and likeness, we are an extension of Him, and we do possess His qualities, merciful, kind, loving and forgiving, but we don’t have the power He possesses to be omnipotence.

The distinction from God and humans is the ego. God is pure light hidden within our heart, but to survive and thrive in this world, at times the heart must operate our ego. God directs and inspires us through the center of our soul which our ego must comply, and let go of the control so life would be more comfortable to live. So often we forget the connection we have with Him, and we unconsciously make the ego goes on auto-pilot. I wanted to be so perfect that I forgot that I am just here learning to love myself and everyone else as they are through unconditional love. Self-compassion is required on this journey of self-realization, and you as a miracle have reminded me that I need not be so hard on myself.

Live. Yes, I am living this life now to my fullest. “You got to do what you got to do,” you said. And I am doing it through being the love I yearn to experience. Who else is better than you to love me, and who else is better than me to love you, because as we are one; I am you, and you are me. Loving myself unconditionally with the thought that it will affect you in so many ways motivate me to strive to be happy and to create a life where I can feel free and joyful.

Let the focus of love in my thoughts transcend every criticism I have for myself when life gets tough because every loving idea of you is a reminder to love myself unconditionally.

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I Humbly Surrender

Beloved Miracle,

If feelings were words, I would use words to make you feel my pulsating heart beating to the drum of unconditional love. How else can I convey the messages better than to start over and turn this blog into a container of my unconditional love to you? Words can poise as empty and meaningless without actions and thinking that I’m unable to act through my calling, the heart that yearns to speak through my fingertips are utterly impossible because I wear my heart on my sleeve.

The world has been so dark and cold before I met you, but at last the fire which you spark in me has accelerated my soul to wake up from its slumber. Darkness is no longer, and the warmth from the heated fire melt my entire being, life is no longer listless as it once was. Before I knew what awakening meant, I felt the longing for true love profoundly, but to awaken to the truth of our Twin Flame love has subdued it, even in denial I still couldn’t move on completely. I believed it was all a hoax, because how can someone be my other self blindly denied our connection? The conclusion was – you weren’t the one for me, and I “moved on” in the hope of finding someone else, but no matter who I approached or met, the Universe keeps sending me back to you.

We are so entangled in each other even if our lives seems to separate us further apart. Thoughts of you would appear in my mind without me trying to think of you. Your name felt like a mantra I keep reciting, and at times I felt stuck. I’m stuck because I couldn’t move on entirely even how much I wanted to, and I have used many kinds of methods to forget you, and I have also cut cords energetically as a way to declare “I give up,” but the Cupid who has struck his “love arrow” in me won’t leave me alone. He was always there reminding me of the love I so dearly desire to experience in this lifetime – true unconditional love.

Dear, what shall I do, but surrender to the force of love. Surrender beneath your grace and beautiful soul. I am not here to fight battles against non-believer of true love, neither do I want to compete with anyone. I surrender my heart and soul to the woman I love deep within my heart, the other self of my soul. Therefore I have concluded that I shall open my heart wider, the door is open, and I am determined to heal and recover from all wounds, past, and present. I am now committed to this journey of Twin Flame Love.

Whether the Universe intend us to reunite or to want me to heal alone so I can help accelerate others to heal is beyond my control. Whoever you are with I wish nothing but the best for you, and I’m sure I will be fine with or without you in this lifetime, because dear, our connection is a golden thread which no one can cut, no time and distance can separate.

I humbly surrender to the divine in you as it’s in me.

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