You pulled me close into your embrace, and it felt like I was about to dissolve into thin air, and I resisted myself to feel weak in the presence of you. I didn’t intentionally choose to feel that way, but later I discovered that I never once put down my armor. I had this shield up to protect myself from getting hurt, and it was all done unconsciously.
If I ever get another chance, I would like to stay still and let you embrace me once again. All I have now is the longing of our reunion which propels me to approach life differently and live in the moment of trust. The road towards healing is arduous, and the healing will not happen immediately at this moment because it’s a process.
Remember the girl who was so shy? She was only shy because she saw the radiant in your beauty and forgot her own. The girl who believed in unconditional love did love you unconditionally. She respects whatever you decide to do, even when you didn’t want her in your life, but what you might not know, and she might haven’t told you; she had prepared herself for that because she had cried so many times before it even happened. “Why God? Why do I have to feel so small, lonely and so powerless?” While she cried in bewilderment of the loss of her beloved.
You see, fear didn’t make it easy for me, but what it also did was holding me back from the commitment. “Maybe I can find love somewhere else,” what was I thought, but whoever came to me did also leave me. All this chasing for the gold at the rainbow tired me out. I was chasing after the reflection of you while I refused to see you within me as a mirror. The gold was within my heart all this time, my own soul and you my other self who is the light to shine up the darkest corner of my fears.
And then, I finally look within me. I saw all these qualities that I’ve got; my radiance, my charisma, my beautiful soul, my complex, paradoxical personality and the strength of being a divine feminine who initiate people to love themselves. I am a woman who never bows to authority, is authentic and have the integrity to lead my life as an example, and I promise myself that I will never shy away from your embrace ever again if you give me one.
Now that life has given me another chance to set the record straight I am willing to devote myself to this love. I pray to God almost every day, “God give me the strength to go on and overcome every hurdle that lies ahead of me, whatever may come I am ready, and if I shipwreck may you give my Twin Flames the strength you have given me.”
I set out for this journey without you, but I know you are there somewhere praying for me too, and when I am back your embrace is my haven.