Self Love

Beloved Miracle,

In the morning glory, I am asking Divine Father God for a resolution. I want to break free from this “waiting,” because in my heart space I am waiting for our reunion, but I am wearing tired of it. Time and space are compressing my heart, and it’s hard to endure when all I desire is to have a glimpse of you.

I am sorry for being selfish, but I have decided not to wait any longer. I am not walking away and give up on you, but I think the best for us is not me sitting in one place and wait for you to come when you are not yet ready to enter into my life again. I heard the call to which I answered with obedience.

I love you, Miracle, but I can no longer support the illusion of time. It’s not that I am impatience, but I understand that divine timing plays a more significant role in our reunion than our concept of time. I really don’t know what else to do than to let go and let God; He is the only one who can alter this situation I am in right now, and whether you hear my heart calling your name or not, I can’t stop my own process of healing and become whole within me.

I pray that we both progress in our path to wholeness and that we both heal from our ailments of lifelong injuries. Whether in health or sickness I am willing to stand by you and be by your side once we become one in heart and soul again, just like before we got split into two souls.

I won’t wander far away, because it’s not possible for me to cut ties with you. Our connection is heaven made, and it has been so life after life, we are tethered in eternal love which is why it’s so hard and impossible to turn away from this love we share.

My willingness to create heaven on earth must come first, but I can’t do that without you, but “waiting” for it to happen is like feeling stuck in a place I don’t belong to, and for me to release this energy of stagnation I have to remove myself from the confusion and illusion of time. I will lift the veil for you so you can see again with your eyes that heaven is here right in front of us, and my soothing voice within your heart is beckoning you to wake up from whatever dreams you may have.

My love, be in awareness of your surrounding and once everything is done, come back to me safely because somewhere along the line, my heart yearns and waits for you.

For now, I am wandering off to gather more love to fill our hearts because once my heart is brimming with love, I know you will feel it too, and love is all there is, and all there is, is love.

Because committing to this journey of self-love is also one of the many tasks I need to complete before everything else.

beau taplin self love

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The Stillness of An INFJ

A mouth can speak thousands of words, and it could become noises, but a silent mind contains the whole world of peace. You may ask “Why is that?” Well, when in stillness the world will slowly reveal itself to be in more harmony and the calm mind conceive the world to be more peaceful because this peace and this harmony comes from within you. And whatever chaos there may be out there you will feel no need to participate or talk about what’s wrong and right, since in stillness and complete silence you will be the observer of what happens and the actions will spring from a place of wisdom which will propel you in the right direction.

I find myself inspired to act from the heart when I am in this peaceful space of stillness. The mind receives thoughts and ideas throughout the day, and with a clear intention, we can easily choose to act from the wisdom of the heart. But if we have a chattering-mind, we could be indecisive, and it will be hard to perform when overthinking because the chattering mind makes up many possible and impossible situations from what kind of action we choose to act on, and it’s all based from past experiences. And over-analyzing what could happen in the future can give you anxiety because of the fear of the unknown. Preparation is not inadequate in itself, but if the preparation is done from fear of making a mistake the good intention of the action may be lost. Live in the moment, and the choice will be what you intend it to be while knowing that what happens is unfolding as it should be.

Listen to the heart, but at the same time take your mind with you. Listen to the wisdom of divine feminine within you and let your divine masculine take care of the action. When an action is taken, once again go into the heart-space of your goddess and let her nurture you and let things unfold naturally.

If you catch yourself in overthinking, stop it by saying “I approve of you,” and give yourself a chance to breathe. We might not have an off-switch from the thoughts that stream through the mind, but we can observe them, notice them and approve ourselves for not being able to be “perfect,” and accept the situation for what it is instead of wanting it to be any different—what it should be.

Even with our imperfections, we are always unique, and also if we can’t stop ourselves from overthinking, we can still love ourselves in spite of the way our brain works.

Be still, and let the heart leads the way.

a.a

The Will of The Soul

Beloved Miracle,

I thought of you again, and in my mind, I constructed another love letter which I would like to write down as soon as possible. I’m in fear it would disappear if I delay it for another minute that passes by.

As you may know, the terrorist of destructive thoughts in my mind has been threatening me to the point of suicidal many times and even how much I want to give in so that I can go back “home” to Venus, I couldn’t. First of all, I’m afraid of pain, and it would cause too much unnecessary drama. Second, leaving my family and my younger siblings behind without teaching them about self-love is too risky. Sure enough, they would maybe learn from someone else who may be more equipped than me to teach them how to love themselves, but still, they might be more depressed if their beloved family member is gone because of suicide. It would also mean that I teach them to give up living when their lives become too hard to handle, and as I said before, I don’t want to leave this world in its worst condition without making a change. And I’m also worried that you will be left alone, even though you might not know that you were left behind once I’m no longer here, but the secret I want to share with you is I have already told my best friend to give you the news if it ever happens.

But the good news is, I’m too strong for the terror of the destructive thoughts that may bombard me when I get triggered. If I have to curl into a ball and cry in the corner of the bed, I’m still going to wake up the next morning planning out my next step to conquer the world with my self-mastery. Because that’s what I’m here to do, I’m here to master myself through self-love, and once I have achieved a decent of proper balancing of self-mastery, I will be living as an example. Even though I might not help many by “doing” something significant, but only holding space for someone to go through their own process of awakening—one single person, I will be delighted to know I could contribute in his/her process of becoming their own master.

No matter how many times I tried to figure out how to serve humanity better, I couldn’t find any better way to do, than to be and to be honest, I couldn’t see myself as a life coach, healing practitioner, reiki or yoga master. I’m also reluctant in creating a plan and methods which people could apply in their daily lives so they can master themselves to vibrate higher. Because there are so many variations of self-help books, healing masters, ascension guides, etc. out there in the world already who teach them how to master themselves vibrationally, and it’s the same as what I want to be an example of.

Dear, I don’t want to copy anyone, I will die an original than to live as a copy, but in essence, I’m still a healer, but maybe my way is to be a spiritual-doer while hiding behind the scene with my words. Being cramp in a box is not what I intend to be, whereas there’s a specific group in this world of likeminded, I still want to go solo and stand alone. I seek solitude more often because of my identity, the blueprint of who I am.

Nevertheless, they say you attract your tribe with your vibe, and it’s also true, but even if I found my tribe, I still want to be an individual with my unique way of being, and I’m more happy writing love letters to you than seeking to profit or earn a living with my gift. Although it’s not wrong at all to make a living with what you are happy doing, money is just an exchange of energy, and it shouldn’t be seen as negative because in this modern world people still needs to pay bills, survive by buying foods to eat, paying for the rent, etc. But somehow in my heart, I feel another calling that nags me to do things differently. I’m not sure what this calling is or how it would manifest itself through me, and all I know is my guides told me “You don’t need to work, you don’t need to go to work!” I wasn’t sure why they said that at that moment, what I answered then was “I have a responsibility.”

My responsibility was paying the rent for the place I occupied, buying foods, and taking care of my needs, but little did I know that I am not equipped to have a regular job like everyone else. As soonest as I tried, I become stressed out, and I felt no passion or happiness. Another thing is because of my empathy, and being an empath with no tolerance for stress with a phagophobia has disabled me to function at work. And honestly, it’s so dull learning with no creativity at school that I don’t even care going back to get myself a certificate or a degree because the system of education stresses me out too much, too, with their tests and theories. I may sound lazy as if I don’t put much effort into my carrier, but this is just my way of being a light in the world with what I’m here to contribute. I’m here to give them a gift from an old soul who wishes to change the system to something better and less stressful, especially for those who are sensitive, empath, and highly sensitive to thrive in the future. Whichever path I have to take to make it come true will inevitably manifest themselves soon, that’s what I have been asking the Universe, and I have also received some signs and nudges. All I need to do is to take one step at a time.

So where do I get my income? Well, thanks to the welfare in Norway I’m getting by with enough for myself, and with every little dime, I will pay back with my service, whichever way it manifests itself. If ever I manage to “earn” money with my gift, I’m going share it abundantly to those who would need it more than me.

Come what may, even if the most efficient terrorist in my head come with their harassment when the night has fallen, and I “died,” I will be reborn anew each morning.

So rest assured, I will live even if I “die” each night because my will is—thy will.

phoenix quote

Because after burning to ashes, the Pheonix will rise and prove it’s immortality.

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A Loving Reminder

Beloved Miracle,

Whether you know it or not, being in a condition of self-destructive thoughts are harming and I know this to be true because I struggle to love myself unconditionally. As a sentient being, I am aware of the depth of my own emotions, and surprisingly it affects you as well. It doesn’t matter how many times I want to depart and “go home,” my feeling of responsibility won’t let me, because the mission I am here to do is not finish. It’s somewhat irresponsible to leave the world in its worst condition than before I came and I chose to descend for a reason, and it’s to leave this place better than what it was.

In the middle of everything I am going through, the continuous pattern of my destructive thoughts makes it hard for me to be a human being. Yes, I am a human being, but it’s half true to what I believe because walking this spiritual path has led me to experience being a human as a spiritual being and not a human being having a spiritual experience.

Dear, I know, I have been hard on myself for as long as I know. I have created a high standard for myself being like God, but I am not nearly as Godlike. And when I failed to be happy, to forgive and not judge, I felt such a disappoint towards myself. But through the humility of making mistakes in life, I learned not to be arrogant. God created us humans in His image and likeness, we are an extension of Him, and we do possess His qualities, merciful, kind, loving and forgiving, but we don’t have the power He possesses to be omnipotence.

The distinction from God and humans is the ego. God is pure light hidden within our heart, but to survive and thrive in this world, at times the heart must operate our ego. God directs and inspires us through the center of our soul which our ego must comply, and let go of the control so life would be more comfortable to live. So often we forget the connection we have with Him, and we unconsciously make the ego goes on auto-pilot. I wanted to be so perfect that I forgot that I am just here learning to love myself and everyone else as they are through unconditional love. Self-compassion is required on this journey of self-realization, and you as a miracle have reminded me that I need not be so hard on myself.

Live. Yes, I am living this life now to my fullest. “You got to do what you got to do,” you said. And I am doing it through being the love I yearn to experience. Who else is better than you to love me, and who else is better than me to love you, because as we are one; I am you, and you are me. Loving myself unconditionally with the thought that it will affect you in so many ways motivate me to strive to be happy and to create a life where I can feel free and joyful.

Let the focus of love in my thoughts transcend every criticism I have for myself when life gets tough because every loving idea of you is a reminder to love myself unconditionally.

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