My innermost desire now is that the worst part of my life is over, but as an empath, I know that my heart will get broken over and over, and it’s not because someone will deliberately hurt me or cause me harm. It’s my innate ability to feel so profoundly over the injustice and the pain that humanity is going through daily. My feelings and emotions can’t be switched off, and I can’t change the way I am from being highly sensitive to being emotionless.
I am not a cavewoman, and I would refrain from becoming a hermit to hide my true self only because people might not understand the way I think or why I feel the way I feel. I want to shift my approach from going into seclusion and instead be amongst people while the ebb and flow of my emotions are starting to make waves. Over the years I have been shedding an incredible amount of traumas, karmas, and stuck emotions. The layers are thinning, and the light within me begins to glow much brighter.
I have “lost” and cut off many friends over the years; because I realize they were never true to me and we weren’t on the same page or wavelength. They come for a season and not a lifetime which is fine because it’s better that way than trying to make it work while it’s not meant to be. They have taught me many valuable things about myself, and they also made me realize I have my preferences on how I want a friendship or relationship to be like and to form a strong bond we all need to put in the effort. I alone can’t always be the one who pours all my energy into the relationship to make it works.
I can walk miles and miles in someone shoes to understand their perspective or how it feels for them to be in a particular situation, but eventually, my feet will be tired out, and that’s why I desire for those who are close to me to understand where I am coming from and support me. It might not be easy to find someone who would devote as much time and energy as I do, but I still want to dream it into reality. Maybe someday someone would show me that giving and receiving is equal, and they won’t bail out at the last minute.
The past didn’t shape me, but it sure taught me how to be myself and have the courage to be who I am. For what I know, I could become bitter and hateful which cause other people harm, but it’s not who I am, and despite the painful past I have been through I still have a tender heart which I know is my natural way to be.
Be courageous enough to wear your heart on your sleeve, love as if you were never hurt and live as if this is your last on Mother Earth. The worst part of your life will be over; it has to because it’s the cycle of life.