The Heart’s Desire

When going through the motion of 50 shades of sadness, the “dark night of the soul,” you are shedding away the density that has held you back from living your dreams, living life according to how you know is right for you. Whatever you do, don’t give up your own truth. The light will bring you clarity; it’s information that comes through to help you to feel less burdened and having a feeling of being lighter in mind and heart.

I set my sails towards my dreams, and it manifests itself in the 3rd dimension reality. I’m currently waiting to move out on my own and start a new life, the life I know is right for me because of my heart which desires to live in the truth as who I am and not what others want me to be.

Living with my family has been an experience of safety, but it was very co-dependent between them and me, and to move on I had to cut the energetic cords between us so that I will be able to help them better as an example. I have always been independent for as long as I knew and grew up as someone who was highly sensitive with an INFJ personality I developed many skills and understand how I function. But to be better at living in harmony with other people I had to first accept myself for who I am, and express my truth with confidence so that people will have a clear understanding that who I am shouldn’t be a threat to who they are.

When I thought I love myself enough, another layer of fear started to appear regarding my phagophobia (the fear of swallowing food). I tried so hard to eat, but whenever I have food in my mouth the anxiety kicks in, and it’s something that is so easy or should be simple makes me cringe and hate myself for not being able to make it through. “You got one job! Chew and swallow! How is that so hard!?” I screamed internally and this, in turn, made me have a severe love talk with myself. “You either calm down and start over, and love yourself, or else I will take over.” Who is this person who will take over? Well, I know it would be my higher self who would want to take over because I was in a destruction mode and I knew if I don’t do anything to get over that mode I might do some severe damage.

I beg Mother Venus and Mother Mary to help me, all the Gods and Goddesses, Archangels and Ascended Masters, and what I got from them was “Go back to the ward,” (So here I am at the ward at the moment writing this). And that night Mother Venus sang to me, and she calmed me down so that I would be able to go to sleep. No, it’s not psychosis, it was more like telepathy, and I had to sing it out loud, but not my own words. Singing has helped me a lot, especially when it comes from the heart because there at the Heart-space sanctuary, the divine feminine is residing and she always express love uniquely.

I understand I have to change the way I nurture and love myself, especially when it comes to the fear of swallowing food. Patience is required, extreme patience, and I also being guided to see myself as a little child, and this could point to my inner child. I can’t scream at a child because it couldn’t eat out of fear, I wouldn’t want to do that to a child, so I shouldn’t do such a thing to my inner child either.

“Love thyself,” is what I’m hearing. Pour more love into the womb, into the inner child and practice extreme patience. No amount of hate would fix this problem, and it’s not a problem to fix, it’s a psychological issue that requires tremendous love and patience.

Whatever you go through or has been through is not something that you need to fix. You can correct yourself without shame or guilt in every waking moment, but in the end, how much love you pour into yourself is what matter the most, and with love there is forgiving.

Is there anything in the past that makes you feel less than or is there any regret? If there is a yes, then remember to forgive yourself and practice “ho’oponopono.”

I will remind you again, “love thyself,” love yourself for who you are at this moment. The you that needs your acceptance, forgiveness, and love exist in this present moment. Release the old you because the past can’t be changed, and as you may know, the future depends on what you choose now, and it’s unknown, unsettling as long as you don’t dare to live according to what you heart desire.

“We betray our true self, when we do not follow the heart’s desire, for what the heart is attracted to, is your destiny.”
– Leon Brown

Confusion is not my cup of tea so I will live my truth while practicing acceptance, patience, and love for myself. I have already set my sails towards my heart desire, within the flow of life even how slow it goes, I know I will arrive at my destination safely.

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The Magic of The Universe

The old module or the old 3D template of scarcity will always stand in the way for you to receive the abundance of the Universe. In God’s Kingdom, there’s no scarcity, His Kingdom is boundless, and in us lies the Universe because we are made of the stardust— we are Starseeds incarnated onto earth. Whether we see ourselves as a human being with a soul or not won’t change the fact that we are connected under the same heavenly sky. Each of us is interceded by an intelligence force which brings us closer together because when we ask the universe for what we need, it will be given to us by someone else. At the exact moment, we are open to receive the Universe will deliver what we have ordered with the right timing. Our vibration will manifest the things we need whether it’s through a situation or another person, because like attracts like.

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It happened to me very often when I ordered something from the Universe; I will get it. I don’t need to know how because it’s not my job to wonder if what I need will be met the way I wanted it to, instead I will let go and let God alter the situation and let Him works His magic through the Universe.

Today I talked to someone about Twin Flame journey, and we magically hit it off, because we were brought together for precisely this matter. And it wasn’t a coincidence to meet this kindred spirit. He had something I needed to learn from, and his message was simple but still profoundly for my Twin Flames journey. He taught me the virtue of being patient. “Be patient and trust the process, because you will get there and things will happen,” he said wisely. And in exchange, I answered his prayer by showing him a youtube video by a pair of Twin Flame healers, “Omg, that’s what I have prayed for from the Universe to send me healing!” We both were stunned and amazed by the fact that we both have been brought together on the same day and at the same time.

Another miracle that happened to me after the 11/11/11 portal was when my Twin Flame contacted me out of nowhere when we haven’t spoken to each other in 11 months. But before she approached me I have already prayed to God; I wrote Him a note, literally, and put it under the pillow and slept with it for about a few days. I asked Him to ask my Twin Flame to contact me as soonest as possible, and he answered me instantly without delay because after the 11/11/11 portal that night my Twin Flame took the initiative to talk to me. I was so surprised and happy that my heart skipped beats. And I swear never to doubt the Universe ever again.

Going through the change in life could be tough at times, but my Twin Flame came and encouraged me to live without overthinking and to honor her I took her advice to heart by being more active in sharing my writings on blogs and Tumblr.

Whoever going through the Twin Flame journey (A video of top 10 questions on Twin Flames) or being here as a Starseed must not forget that the Universe gots your back and are always ready to help and gives you the tools and guidance to live the life you are meant to live here on earth. We are here to uplift and help anchor our light into the ground of earth so that everyone will benefit from our gifts and higher vibrations.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.”

– Matthew 7:7

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Stretching My Comfort Zone

I have always challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone, and sometimes I would test the water before jumping in while other times I would jump in with head first. Either way, things always worked out for the best. The feeling of nervousness still surface when I do something new, but it will fade as soon as I calm myself down with deep breaths. The point is always to take action after careful consideration of what would be best to do, but we all do fear things that are unknown to us. And the future could be somewhat unknown since we never know what would happen. In our mind, we prefer things to happen a certain way, but in reality, it’s not always like that. All I know after learning how life works is to expect the unexpected.

What I usually do before taking action is to calculate and plan out the next step I would bring into realization so that my life will not stagnate. When I feel cornered or burned out taking action is needed whether it is to relax or to plan out the next step so I can get it out of my system. Over the last few months after discovering the INFJ personality type I have highlighted the most important things I need to do to be in balance. Get enough rest, making myself the priority, regulate times spending with family and friends, and of course “vent” about my feelings and thoughts to someone who is good at listening. I also decided that it’s crucial for me to approve of myself no matter what pops up in my head, whether I caught myself trying to explain why I chose to say what I said or did in the past to the person I told it to or just overanalyzing the past in bits and pieces.

Overthinking and overanalyzing has been one of my personality traits which I would like to change, even though I always find myself reflecting over life and what has been in the past which could be benefitting to how I can create my future. Although I like to take time for myself to reflect, I still feel that overthinking and overanalyzing without taking action could cause too much harm and engage in that kind of activity would overwork my brain too much so I rather not.

I’m going through a tremendous change at the moment which I feel would benefit me in the long run, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel nervous about it even though I have done it like a thousand times before. Change is inevitable, but I also like stability and balance, the sense of comfort which gives me the secure feeling of safety. I can adapt to change, but it would have to be gradual so that I can feel grounded. I’m going through these changes at a pace you could call “baby-step.” What course of action I will take will show itself in the now moment, and I have to have faith that the Universe always deliver what I need in the right timing. Patience is required when I have made an order to the Universe. Overthinking about it would delay my order, and I don’t want that to happen.

It’s 11/11/11 portal today, and manifestation is happening. I affirm that what I want will materialize because of the change I’m about to make.

Soon enough my comfort zone will widen, and I will live with less anxiety about not knowing what will happen in the future; it’s going to be so great!

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