Letting Go; An Act of Liberation

Beloved Miracle,

I honored your choice because it gave me a clear sign that I needed to let go completely and I did. It was liberating to move on without guilt and lingering to what we had. I realized I wanted something more, something reliable and stable. I also felt I deserve someone who will honor me for who I am and what I am here to contribute, a partnership where both can take responsibility for the actions and words we put forward.

In my heart I know I am in love with you and I still care for your well being, but as I walk further towards my own light and grow spiritually, I know letting go of what we had was necessary for us to maybe grow closer to each other on the 3D level of reality. What we had was at a low frequency and low vibration, it was co-dependency because I sought after your love from the outside and neglected myself.

The Twin Flames journey has been an ultimate challenge for me, and it has always challenged me to honor myself and love myself for who I am instead of looking for love and validation from someone else. You mirrored back to me what I needed to heal within me, and for each time you “ran” I was forced to look at the pain and suffering that surfaced within me. I know, it’s not easy when all you wanted was peace and carefree life, but as long as you still live a conditioned life and run back to your comfort zone where things feel more comfortable and safe things won’t get any better. Although I am the awakened one to the truth of our connection, I have to let you roam and explore your options while you are in your own process.

For once I want to stop all the blaming and bitterness towards you and release all anger for how you unconsciously treated me. We did what we can throughout our connection when we were in touch. It was designed that way, one of us must lead the way, and I chose to be the one who will walk ahead to clear out the path while you kept watching and guarded me towards my ascension. You hold space for me for so long, and now it’s time for me to hold the light and hold a space for you to grow in your own light towards your own ascension.

Reunion and union is a temptation and almost a fairy tale, but we can only reunite and be in the union by going inwards and walk the path and live the life we have design separately together. While in separation we are actually doing it together. Even though it doesn’t make sense, but we are in this together as we already agreed to before coming to this earth plane. Our soul bond is so strong that even if we are separate in the 3D reality, we are still connected spiritually. In separation, we are moving closer together as long as we realize that the time we are apart is the time to process and integrate our higher selves. We are granted the time to access the pain and limitations during our separation to heal.

True love is knowing the love is still there between us even if we aren’t “there” physically with each other. True love is knowing we can heal and help each other by treating ourselves with care and loving ourselves, by nurturing individually in our own time instead of demanding the attention and care from each other regularly. Neither of us has abandoned the other. The circumstances we are in, what we have decided to experience in this life was a designation to make us both grow in unconditional love. It’s our mission to show the world that true love exists, and not only true love alone but unconditional love is our heritage and the most natural love there’s in the whole cosmos.

I can’t spark a light within you without moving on. This sudden change might feel uncomfortable and even painful, but eventually, you will understand the reason why I chose to “move on.” I can’t weather the storm by being passive in my own life, and I can’t put it on hold, at least not any longer. I feel you regardless, and despite distance and separation, you will always live within my heart and dance in my soul.

Once you decide to look for me, I hope we will come closer to our unconditional love and live it without shame and guilt, that our desire will eventually come true for the sake of humanity.

a.a

Thy Healing Hands

Beloved Miracle,

One single touch of your hands awakened all the dormant codes within my DNA, the filaments fired and pumped up the blood rush from my heart, and my soul has been dragged up from the hellbound place in the slump.

Dear, how can I thank you? You traveled to hell and brought with you the flame of our eternal love to lit up the world so I could open my eyes to see the truth. There’s no other greater truth than the truth of our love for each other. You burn down the illusions that were created to put my grace and nobility in the dirt. You knew I suffer because dirty hands have touched my body, but they were never able to destroy the pureness of my soul.

They clouded my mind so I could think nothing but ungraceful thoughts about who I am, and the shame and the guilt of being unworthy of your love have shut down my body, the numbness felt so real. I thought death was imminent because living in loneliness and being separated from the love you have for me within me killed me slowly.

But then you kissed me, and I remember what real love felt like so I rose from death like a Phoenix to proclaim my immortality. Many years have gone by since that time, and now I am finally leaving the past behind me, closing the door forever. You whispered to me through the wind, “You are so worthy of the love I have for you.” I smiled when the breeze was tenderly caressing my face, and then I realize, unconditional love doesn’t judge “I AM worthy and I AM loved!”

With just one kiss and touch, I will pray for you every moment of my waking life.

The Violet Flame Prayer (I wrote only for you).
Picture creds Full Bloomed Lotus

violet flame

Violet Flame, Violet Flame
Blazing like a fire,
Violet Flame, Violet Flame
Transmute dark energy for me
and my beloved Twin Flame, Ryder.
Violet Flame, Violet Flame
Burning in God’s name,
Holy holy holy is the Lord;
holy is the Lord God Almighty.

One day you, too, will heal and live in happiness, and until then, I am your Divine Feminine, your counterpart who will love you infinitely.

a.a

The Devotion of The Goddess

Beloved Miracle,

What is better than the devotion of a Goddess who loves her beloved, her other self? Being in commitment to this Twin Flames mission has taken me to the highest peak of the mountain and the most profound depth of the ocean. I have felt the earthshaking rumble of the heart of Mother Gaia because of this adoration and admiration of my love to you.

At times when the flame of passion in me glowing faintly, you came and rekindled it with your encouragement and to sustain it I have to go into seclusion, away from the world out there. It’s not because I’m hiding in the shade and become a hermit, but it’s for self-perseverance, and it’s to feel serene and saint from a world which is not yet in harmony.

The altar within my Heart-space sanctuary is sacred, and it’s where I pray and commune with the divine feminine within me, the Goddess who also gently stripping away my false self so I can transform into her. This bodily vessel of mine is her to take and yours to keep, but first, she will cleanse and purify it before our union happens. Whether it occurs in spirit or this physical world, I will not resist the temptation to be whole again, because when our soul split into two, I have longed for you in lifetimes of incarnations. Who knows how long our separation has been because time is just a portion of our imagination in mind, an illusion, yet we are living in the moment of now, and doesn’t a moment feel like an eternity sometimes?

When the moon pulls my hair and makes the ebb and flow in my emotions, it robs me of my sleep, and then I know the Goddess has given me a quest to dive deeper into the ocean where she has hidden the treasure, the power of will. And even if the waves throw me back to the shore, I can’t stop because if I may not have this power, I will wither slowly and lose my way.

I have this innate ability to be resilient, remaining calm in the midst of chaos and a heart that swell with compassion and love. The Goddess has spoken, the luminous path she has put me on can’t be delay any further. While I am not beside you, my sweet, sweet love, I pray for you to find as much courage as you have given me to live a life you secretly desire for yourself within the altar of my Heart-space sanctuary, with or without me.

a.a

The Will of The Soul

Beloved Miracle,

I thought of you again, and in my mind, I constructed another love letter which I would like to write down as soon as possible. I’m in fear it would disappear if I delay it for another minute that passes by.

As you may know, the terrorist of destructive thoughts in my mind has been threatening me to the point of suicidal many times and even how much I want to give in so that I can go back “home” to Venus, I couldn’t. First of all, I’m afraid of pain, and it would cause too much unnecessary drama. Second, leaving my family and my younger siblings behind without teaching them about self-love is too risky. Sure enough, they would maybe learn from someone else who may be more equipped than me to teach them how to love themselves, but still, they might be more depressed if their beloved family member is gone because of suicide. It would also mean that I teach them to give up living when their lives become too hard to handle, and as I said before, I don’t want to leave this world in its worst condition without making a change. And I’m also worried that you will be left alone, even though you might not know that you were left behind once I’m no longer here, but the secret I want to share with you is I have already told my best friend to give you the news if it ever happens.

But the good news is, I’m too strong for the terror of the destructive thoughts that may bombard me when I get triggered. If I have to curl into a ball and cry in the corner of the bed, I’m still going to wake up the next morning planning out my next step to conquer the world with my self-mastery. Because that’s what I’m here to do, I’m here to master myself through self-love, and once I have achieved a decent of proper balancing of self-mastery, I will be living as an example. Even though I might not help many by “doing” something significant, but only holding space for someone to go through their own process of awakening—one single person, I will be delighted to know I could contribute in his/her process of becoming their own master.

No matter how many times I tried to figure out how to serve humanity better, I couldn’t find any better way to do, than to be and to be honest, I couldn’t see myself as a life coach, healing practitioner, reiki or yoga master. I’m also reluctant in creating a plan and methods which people could apply in their daily lives so they can master themselves to vibrate higher. Because there are so many variations of self-help books, healing masters, ascension guides, etc. out there in the world already who teach them how to master themselves vibrationally, and it’s the same as what I want to be an example of.

Dear, I don’t want to copy anyone, I will die an original than to live as a copy, but in essence, I’m still a healer, but maybe my way is to be a spiritual-doer while hiding behind the scene with my words. Being cramp in a box is not what I intend to be, whereas there’s a specific group in this world of likeminded, I still want to go solo and stand alone. I seek solitude more often because of my identity, the blueprint of who I am.

Nevertheless, they say you attract your tribe with your vibe, and it’s also true, but even if I found my tribe, I still want to be an individual with my unique way of being, and I’m more happy writing love letters to you than seeking to profit or earn a living with my gift. Although it’s not wrong at all to make a living with what you are happy doing, money is just an exchange of energy, and it shouldn’t be seen as negative because in this modern world people still needs to pay bills, survive by buying foods to eat, paying for the rent, etc. But somehow in my heart, I feel another calling that nags me to do things differently. I’m not sure what this calling is or how it would manifest itself through me, and all I know is my guides told me “You don’t need to work, you don’t need to go to work!” I wasn’t sure why they said that at that moment, what I answered then was “I have a responsibility.”

My responsibility was paying the rent for the place I occupied, buying foods, and taking care of my needs, but little did I know that I am not equipped to have a regular job like everyone else. As soonest as I tried, I become stressed out, and I felt no passion or happiness. Another thing is because of my empathy, and being an empath with no tolerance for stress with a phagophobia has disabled me to function at work. And honestly, it’s so dull learning with no creativity at school that I don’t even care going back to get myself a certificate or a degree because the system of education stresses me out too much, too, with their tests and theories. I may sound lazy as if I don’t put much effort into my carrier, but this is just my way of being a light in the world with what I’m here to contribute. I’m here to give them a gift from an old soul who wishes to change the system to something better and less stressful, especially for those who are sensitive, empath, and highly sensitive to thrive in the future. Whichever path I have to take to make it come true will inevitably manifest themselves soon, that’s what I have been asking the Universe, and I have also received some signs and nudges. All I need to do is to take one step at a time.

So where do I get my income? Well, thanks to the welfare in Norway I’m getting by with enough for myself, and with every little dime, I will pay back with my service, whichever way it manifests itself. If ever I manage to “earn” money with my gift, I’m going share it abundantly to those who would need it more than me.

Come what may, even if the most efficient terrorist in my head come with their harassment when the night has fallen, and I “died,” I will be reborn anew each morning.

So rest assured, I will live even if I “die” each night because my will is—thy will.

phoenix quote

Because after burning to ashes, the Pheonix will rise and prove it’s immortality.

a.a

The Meaning of Life

Beloved Miracle,

The hour of darkness is approaching us slowly, winter is right around the corner, and the frost will cover the land with snowflakes. It’s a season of rest where everything will lay still waiting to grow again in spring. Between the day and night, the hours of business don’t forget that within you the buds of the flowers are waiting to bloom. As you remind me to live, I want to remind you to rest and nurture yourself so that the buds within you will flourish when spring arrives.

The world is moving at a fast pace, and everyone includes us are prone to stress and forget to breathe. We lament over the loss of our youth because of this fast track where we can’t stop to enjoy what is. What is, is. The beauty of nature, of the sunset and the stars, are often being overlooked because we tend to be caught up in our daily tasks. There are bills to pay, relationships to deal with and jobs we need to go to, and with all the respect for the lives that has always been, it’s still not the way to live our lives. I can’t speak for all of us, but I’m speaking on behalf of those who yearn to find meaning in their lives.

Before I met you, life was a struggle, and I sought after my purpose of living. I wandered in the darkness trying to find my way out. I never thought that everything I experienced in the past led me to you. I had this inner compass which I was so afraid to use because no one has ever taught me how to use it, but still, I was out there seeking and knocking on doors to find the meaning to my life. At times I failed and fell into prey for people’s unconscious behavior, I made heaps of mistakes, but I learned from them, mostly the hard way. Although life had it twists and turns the road towards my life purpose was litten up like neon signs, and sometimes I got lost in the myriad of dark imagining where I needed to meet my shadows and demons, but I still manage to pave my way and prepare myself to meet you.

What happened to my life when I met you? Honestly, you turned my world upside down, and the wall I had built around my heart crumbled because the foundation within me was already filled with cracks. It wasn’t steady at all, and the disordered of who I was then began to show its ugly head. You mirrored back to me everything I needed to heal, at times it was so intense that I needed to pull away and even run because I wasn’t ready to meet myself that deeply. Also though I run for life, I still yearn to love you and be loved unconditionally. The interlude between pulling away and reconnecting between us escalated as time pass by. I saw the beauty in you, but at the same time, I saw my own ugliness. The wounds of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc were overwhelming. It even made me so sick and dizzy. All the while I felt I needed your love, you in the other hand decided to pull away, but it was in truth my salvation. Because of the time, we spent from each other was the only time I needed to heal myself and to recover from my traumas and issues. Even though I wasn’t blindfolded, but I was still blind from the fact that whatever I needed was within me, and you were there to light up my way and guide me through.

The meeting with you in this physical world has given me so much, and because of you I also find a meaning to my life, and it’s to live to the fullest while overcoming the shadows within my mind and heal what needs to be healed. There is so much shadow work I’m doing at the moment while pouring out my love to you; meanwhile, you are not here, I remind myself to give as many thoughts to love myself fully too. If I can’t love myself unconditionally, then I can’t love you the same way which I know I want to, because at my core I know this is what is most real to me. Worldly love of the old 3D template is in no comparison to the divine love I am here to emit.

While I found you, I found my life purpose, and it’s the simplest thing in the whole world; being an example of unconditional love.

You are the unconditional love I am here to experience and teach – the most significant meaning in life is to love.

quote joyce meyer

a.a

I Humbly Surrender

Beloved Miracle,

If feelings were words, I would use words to make you feel my pulsating heart beating to the drum of unconditional love. How else can I convey the messages better than to start over and turn this blog into a container of my unconditional love to you? Words can poise as empty and meaningless without actions and thinking that I’m unable to act through my calling, the heart that yearns to speak through my fingertips are utterly impossible because I wear my heart on my sleeve.

The world has been so dark and cold before I met you, but at last the fire which you spark in me has accelerated my soul to wake up from its slumber. Darkness is no longer, and the warmth from the heated fire melt my entire being, life is no longer listless as it once was. Before I knew what awakening meant, I felt the longing for true love profoundly, but to awaken to the truth of our Twin Flame love has subdued it, even in denial I still couldn’t move on completely. I believed it was all a hoax, because how can someone be my other self blindly denied our connection? The conclusion was – you weren’t the one for me, and I “moved on” in the hope of finding someone else, but no matter who I approached or met, the Universe keeps sending me back to you.

We are so entangled in each other even if our lives seems to separate us further apart. Thoughts of you would appear in my mind without me trying to think of you. Your name felt like a mantra I keep reciting, and at times I felt stuck. I’m stuck because I couldn’t move on entirely even how much I wanted to, and I have used many kinds of methods to forget you, and I have also cut cords energetically as a way to declare “I give up,” but the Cupid who has struck his “love arrow” in me won’t leave me alone. He was always there reminding me of the love I so dearly desire to experience in this lifetime – true unconditional love.

Dear, what shall I do, but surrender to the force of love. Surrender beneath your grace and beautiful soul. I am not here to fight battles against non-believer of true love, neither do I want to compete with anyone. I surrender my heart and soul to the woman I love deep within my heart, the other self of my soul. Therefore I have concluded that I shall open my heart wider, the door is open, and I am determined to heal and recover from all wounds, past, and present. I am now committed to this journey of Twin Flame Love.

Whether the Universe intend us to reunite or to want me to heal alone so I can help accelerate others to heal is beyond my control. Whoever you are with I wish nothing but the best for you, and I’m sure I will be fine with or without you in this lifetime, because dear, our connection is a golden thread which no one can cut, no time and distance can separate.

I humbly surrender to the divine in you as it’s in me.

a.a