Imagine You

I think of you –
For many days I lie awake,
Wandering through the narrow alley of thoughts,
Yielding to the mind that imagines –
Unbound to the illusion
For you I am real.

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Traveling Through The Night

The mornings are to those busy bee leaving for work, while the nights are for those who are like owls sitting on the branch observing the world. There’s nothing wrong with the morning when the sunrise is coming above the horizon, it just that for the thinkers they daydream while “asleep” with bloodshot eyes; they fondly love the silence of the night too much to go to sleep early.

I am one of those who occasionally have insomnia and couldn’t go to bed with a chaotic mind; full of thoughts and ideas and even if I sleep early my Muse will pull me up at 3 AM from bed demanding my attention. It wants my time and effort to create the story of my life in written words.

My life? It has been a rollercoaster, and merry go round, but more lately my heart has been stabilized, I don’t feel the high or the low as much like I used to and whenever something knocks me down, I bounce back more resilient than when I fall. My scars are not decorating on my skin, but I have them within me which I don’t expose to anyone unless they deem trustworthy. I rarely talk about myself to people I don’t know, and I prone to listen more than I speak; I have a hard time trusting people because of all the secrets I keep to myself.

So in the morning, I will sleep while at night I let the stars pull my hair and the moon nudge my body in all the direction it wishes me to go; it’s just how I travel to heal.

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Consideration

Just one wrong word can tear the heart apart and one moving action without consideration can rip the soul in pieces.

We must be conscious of our choice; we have to awaken our senses, not just five of them, but the sixth as well.

If we give of our vibes, then let it be of high spirit,
not in distress or raging of our fits.

All I’m saying is be willing to make an effort to care enough before it’s too late because regrets can haunt us and destroy our peace of mind.

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Through The Darkness

From time to time, you will walk through the darkness. Stumble blindly to find your way to sanity. If you are spiritual like me, you would know that we are all one, but we can’t be one until we understand ourselves and our individuality.

The blend with everything in this world is a feeling higher than ecstasy. The floating of your body and the peace you obtain within your mind is spectacular. You won’t find such feelings in any drugs, because it doesn’t empty you or drain your energy.

I could remember the day I stop the mind chattering thoughts in my head and feel entirely one with everything, and it was a fantastic feeling, somehow I wish to feel it again, but things have changed a lot during that year. Now I don’t feel the blending of the world anymore, but a mixture of everything, which I think it’s not mine. The bitter taste and salty tears.

You taste it every day, the sweetness, the bitterness, the spice and the salty. Life is really spicy.

Don’t try to run from life, because it will catch you anyway, and it leaves you breathless from the running.

I guess solitude is what I am going through now. However, I don’t want to fight this battle alone. Through the darkness, I hope to find a glim of light.

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Hellish Bound

I held my breath last night because my mind has gone wild. It took me back to the hall of memories. Every reel contained nothing but sadness and tragedy. I lay there in my bed wide awake and covered myself with my blanket while in my head a rhyme formed utterly in distress –

I exist, but not living; I’m dying, but I’m still alive.

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I Won’t Give In

When the ocean breeze stop blowing and it rustles the leaves makes them fall lightly to the ground, I will walk away. And once the last drop of rain falls into the sea, then it’s time to say goodbye. The wind carries my affection to you, and dripping of the rain are tears I shed before I let you go. With every leaf on the trees falling to the ground are my love letters written in the midst of autumn.

If every hue and color of the leaves could set ablaze the trees, then I know it will warm you before winter reach in. I can’t be there anymore to share the silent between our conversations, and I won’t be there to smile at you to lighten up your load.

Maybe it’s our destiny to be apart even if we never were together because we are not meant for each other. I’m sure the four seasons will change everything, that’s at least what I hope for. Every cloud has a silver lining, we can’t turn back time, but if it was possible, I want to go back just one more time and experiences our first meeting, with me being different than the first time we met.

One year consist of 365 days, and it’s 52 weeks in a year, and we don’t know how many times the sky has wept, but it will weep continually until my last drop of tear has fallen.

Until those 365 days turns and changes me at 180 degrees, I won’t give in.

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Your Shine

Your beauty is exquisite, like a painting which I don’t get tired of looking. With you I am never bored, there are so much in your mind I want to explore, and I marvel at how you can wake up to another morning and make the world better for your loved ones.

The nearest way to touch you now is through my words, and the closest way for you to see me is through these sentences.

Look closely, I have changed, and it was all because of you. You turned my world upside down, and fortunately, all these changes have made me more me, and it was for the better and not for the worst.

Sometimes I wonder if you feel the same way – that what we had were unique, and I wonder if you also changed because I came into your life.

Your light makes reflections on this dark world, and just as what the moon does when the sun goes to sleep, it shines on the surface of the ocean; you lighten up the night with your shine, you shimmer, and glitter like stars. You are like million of sparkle stardust. You are too brilliant that I can’t stop complimenting you and I am sincere with my compliments.

Please, whatever happens, keep on shining.

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Alive

My heart leaps, galloping in ecstasy because it found meaning in beating. Even how arduous this journey seems to be, the struggling of climbing mountains or swimming oceans, it’s still worth it. For each step, I come closer to my inner-self, and once I am in harmony with myself, I come closer to you.

There is a profoundly meaning for the heart to pump blood and beating ceaselessly; I’m alive.

And now, you think being alive is just something we do, but actually, it’s the beingness. Being. Being in love makes me do all kind of things. Every doing stem from that.

So be and feel the aliveness.

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The Echo

I love you so much that my heart aches. It will almost explode with a tremendous longing. I want to tear open this illusion of our separation, but the reality is cruel and savage because when I open my eyes to a new morning, you aren’t here. It’s not that you aren’t here, but I couldn’t come in contact with you. You are mute and even how much I scream my lungs out all I hear is my echo;

“I
Love
You.”

“I
Love
You.”

“I
Love
You.”

And days pass, and you are still out of reach. Can you comprehend the love I possess within me which leaks out in an attempt to embrace you? I want to forsake the reality and immerse myself in my dreams because at least there your love fondly covered my entire being and I could feel loved for once in my life.

Maybe to hear the echo of my voice of those three words; “I love you.” – was in truth what your heart intend for me to understand and know that you loved me or love me.

So visionary thinking, the simplicity, the return of the words which has echoed back to me is;

“I love you.”

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Self-discovery Through Life

Life is a journey with a set of different experiences. Myriad of emotions intertwined with one experience. The simplicity here is to see life as an opportunity for self-discovery.

We are the visitor of this Earth, and because we have been here so long that we have made Earth our home. It’s natural to us to live a life here in harmony with each other and with Earth as well.

Sometimes we might do things which are not so beneficial for all, and we for some reason have forgotten that we are one; what we do to others we do to ourselves. Despite being one, we are still individual unique, and there are no two alike.

Don’t take yourself for granted and don’t push life aside without making an effort to live it. You don’t have to figure out how to live it, because for each moment you are breathing, life unfolds in a way that you can’t halt yourself from experiencing it.

Express your uniqueness, and be. And remember doing always spring from being and from there you will get to experience how life unfolds itself as a journey to re-discover yourself.

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