Life is given to you, and so you live it; one day at a time and whatever comes your way you will take it with tears or a smile; life goes on.
They usually say smile through the tears, but what if you couldn’t fake a smile, and the tears have run dry? It’s hard to fake a smile when the sadness is welling up in your heart, and all you want is to feel it because things have changed; you don’t run from it anymore, and you are not compelled to explain to people why you feel like you do.
I’m sitting and feeling the sadness that has caught my attention in solitude; me behind four walls and the music that blasts out the sad rhythm from my speaker. In this instant, I let the soothing of the voice and beats from the song I’m listening to console me because I don’t need anyone else to tell me what I already know. In the past, I would share my heart out, but usually, they would say to me things I already know in an attempt to comfort me in which I find not helpful. Why? Because it takes away my focus on what I feel deep inside, and instead, I would focus on their interpretation of what I think about my problems; makes me feel like I need to justify for how I feel which is unnecessary because my feelings don’t always need to be analyzed or labeled.
I have matured enough to understand my inner self and have the courage to feel whatever that has been buried deep down within me without the need to vent. I think being able to accept myself for who I am and all of my experiences and emotions leveled me up and made me even wiser. The process and transition throughout the year that went by grow me exceptionally, and I am neither proud or arrogant about it because I desire to live and let live, in peace.
And within this moment I found the peace I sought after for so long with the sadness I feel, it’s as if the noise of the world suddenly tunes out, and everything becomes more beautiful.