Contentment

Life is given to you, and so you live it; one day at a time and whatever comes your way you will take it with tears or a smile; life goes on.

They usually say smile through the tears, but what if you couldn’t fake a smile, and the tears have run dry? It’s hard to fake a smile when the sadness is welling up in your heart, and all you want is to feel it because things have changed; you don’t run from it anymore, and you are not compelled to explain to people why you feel like you do.

When there’s no fear but only contentment for a heart that seek solitude.

I’m sitting and feeling the sadness that has caught my attention in solitude; me behind four walls and the music that blasts out the sad rhythm from my speaker. In this instant, I let the soothing of the voice and beats from the song I’m listening to console me because I don’t need anyone else to tell me what I already know. In the past, I would share my heart out, but usually, they would say to me things I already know in an attempt to comfort me in which I find not helpful. Why? Because it takes away my focus on what I feel deep inside, and instead, I would focus on their interpretation of what I think about my problems; makes me feel like I need to justify for how I feel which is unnecessary because my feelings don’t always need to be analyzed or labeled.

I have matured enough to understand my inner self and have the courage to feel whatever that has been buried deep down within me without the need to vent. I think being able to accept myself for who I am and all of my experiences and emotions leveled me up and made me even wiser. The process and transition throughout the year that went by grow me exceptionally, and I am neither proud or arrogant about it because I desire to live and let live, in peace.

And within this moment I found the peace I sought after for so long with the sadness I feel, it’s as if the noise of the world suddenly tunes out, and everything becomes more beautiful.

I am content.

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