I Have Myself

I don’t want to keep running in circle or drowsy waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet. Yeah, I’m tired of searching for gold at the end of the rainbow and hunting for an elusive love which always slips through the gap between my heart and mind. The abyss of my longing is now flowing like a river out to the big sea, and I’m leaving its shore under the sunset at the end of my craving for a relationship that would last forever.

Because love came and you run for life; I’m left alone. I have come to learn that even if I’m left to myself, alone in my own company, I’m still okay. So what if I’m alone? It’s not the worst that could happen, and I would rather go solo than trouble myself with a lover who is scared of the tide of my emotions. Yes, I’m intense, and I love hard, sometimes so hard that my tears are flooding and brimming over before it even started.

Silly me, I forgot I’m just a girl at heart, delicate and gentle. However, my monstrous strength to overcome any hurdle always helps me to bounce back and I have become resilient in the face of calamity. I’m so vulnerable to wear my heart on my sleeve, so fragile that even it hurts it doesn’t hurt as much longer. My heart is like a sponge, soft and squishy; it doesn’t break like glass. That’s why I have decided; I will love again even how arduous my journey may be, because you know what, the rainbow always comes after a shower of rain. I don’t need gold when I have my soul, and I don’t need a lover when I have myself.

a.a

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