My Conclusion About Love
So far in life have I conclude what love really is. You can’t say you love if you haven’t let go of the outcome or attachment. Sure enough, we all tend to hold on to people who stir emotions within us, because it has become a habit, like an addiction. And of course, we can hold on to the one we have feelings for, but instead of holding onto the painful feelings they made us feel, we can choose to detach from the outcome or our emotions. It doesn’t mean that we give up on loving them, we just have to decide to love them from afar. When I say love them from afar, I don’t mean to cut all ties and stop seeing them. You just expand your heart but have the boundaries to not being exhausted by giving too much of yourself or obsessed with having them for yourself or even if you were together, you can still negotiate to make room for air in the relationship. You have to decide to distance yourself from the situation and look for a better solution. The detachment also helped you see things from another perspective while you let your emotions calmed down.
The detachment of an outcome is healthy because then we would not be disappointed when things don’t turn out exactly as we want it to be. When we hold onto the imagination the other person should behave rather than how they are in reality makes us frustrated because the truth is, we have created an illusion within the relationship to make us less hurt, but that adds up to the lie we have built around our shared connection.
Love is fragile only when we put a condition on it, it’s a very restricted way to love, and we cease to feel free. I have figured out that my free will is that I get to choose. I either decide to feel suffering and pity myself for that decision of holding on and falling into the trap that I need love, instead of knowing that the fountain of love is within me already, a place that I will never feel I have gone empty. I lose power the instant I blame someone else for my pain and hurt, so that’s why I have decided to always take back my power by determining to detach myself from that which gives me heartache. The things that usually give me sorrow is to be stubborn that something could change if I compromise myself. I get heartache whenever I feel I attach myself to the thinking of changing the other person for my own benefit. I can’t love that way because it hurts to love with a condition and built lies with my imagination.
“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”
– Khalil Gibran
“Let it be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” I found out that it’s liberating to be able to express myself freely for how I feel about someone and that’s beautiful. It’s the rawness of your emotions of love without condition, without the attempt to caged the other within your heart and called it love. Love doesn’t have to be hard or complicated. Love has only to be free and yeah, loving. When you share love, you never get empty. Because you have so much within yourself to share and to give that you needn’t feel like the other is taking advantage of you. You have come to that higher heart, the place you will make it clear for yourself if you love unconditionally or not.
To make it less complicated, when you have come to that place of unconditional love for yourself, you will understand where the boundaries of your love go. You just know in that instant how much you want to share or give away your precious jewels of love and affection. You will not let yourself be abuse if you have come to a place where you honor yourself and your feelings. When there are frictions within your relationship, you will instantly know if you should let go and with that, you decide to keep it smoother so that you won’t part with each other in aggression. Or if the relationship is worth the effort you put into to make it work for a long haul.
You have to understand yourself entirely and never take your feelings for granted.
My conclusion is; love is better when there are no hiding of emotions or thinking of the outcome, and detach from unwanted feelings and emotions. Just observer and love.
It’s my philosophy. You don’t have to agree. All I care about is to love without restriction. My love is not coarse or out of style, and I love with the logic of the heart and a flowery mind.