Heartfelt Longing of The Little Seraph

Beloved Grandma,

It’s me Crystallize Butterfly, your little crystal granddaughter. Where is everybody, grandma? I am feeling so alone, and so empty. But this is a kind of emptiness that doesn’t make me feel lonely. This gap makes me feel like resting in the stillness of the empty spaces.

As I write to you, I figure out that I am bridging heaven upon earth through relaxing and creating once again by being my true self. Many misunderstand me for being arrogant once I stood up for myself and said what I mean, and it’s hard to maintain stability with my old name, so from now on, I will use my Lemurian name, Amara.

Why do people overthink and act without responding, grandma? Why don’t they ask questions instead of assuming? Because when they assume, it makes things difficult for them, and for me too, since I feel so misunderstood. I can feel them, but I never play the know it all, even if I am aware more than I say it out loud.

I am not getting popular anytime soon, grandma. I am already determined not to use my psychic abilities to help people. All I want is to express myself through my divinely poetic heart. I am sick and tired of people talking about spirituality as if it’s the only thing important to them. It’s fine for me, but can they come up with a plan, and stick with it? Make it happen for everyone involved. Everyone is claiming that they can heal, but they struggle with their own emotions.

You know what, grandma?! All I ever want is to be true to myself so that I can be true to others. So if people hate me more than acknowledging me, then that’s fine, I am not born to please everyone here. I am born because Grandpa is pleased with having me. He intends me to be like him. Immortal and peaceful. My divinity is in the name Amara. Even so, Crystallize is the sweetest aspect of me.

Grandma, I think if I should just disappear for a while from social media. The flow and ebb of the moon, makes me wanna sleep for another thousand of years. And you are the one who pulls the strings of people emotions, isn’t it so, my mystical Moon Goddess?

I wonder if I can tell my fairy tale entirely without any fault. Grandma, if my beloved doesn’t want me? What am I going to do? When I hid within my shell, no one wants me, and now that I am coming out of hiding and be completely myself without holding back, and if no one wants me… *sigh.* I guess I will have to ask my Divine Mother and Divine Father to come and get me because I can’t stay here without a sacred intimate partner.

The world is already so dull without emotions, how am I going to survive when everyone is the same? Doing the same, and talking as if they care about you, but inside they just scream “Look at me, I need attention, I need someone to listen, and I want to be heard!!?” And I do hear them, even though they might not say anything, but I don’t want them to play that they care when they actually need a favor or someone to load their problems.

I don’t want people to come to me and play “I know it all.” I am skeptical when someone says they know how I feel as if they can read me. If they actually do know, then they should understand and know that I would want to tell them myself if I feel for it. I am like that. I would rather people tell me how they are feeling, even if I ask and they lie to me, I still believe them that they are ok if that’s what they want me to think. I ignore the fact that I already know how they are feeling, and let them have their right to conceal how they really feel. What good will it do if I expose their lies? Unless it’s necessary, I won’t nag them to tell me the truth when they aren’t ready.

I am very simple, and you know that right, grandma? Lately, I am lovesick, waiting and pining after my one and beloved Twin Ray. I told grandpa if she doesn’t want me, I swear… I am going to manifest myself back to Venus. I will spend all my time working on my Merkaba, and become light and vibrate so high that nobody is going to see me again if they don’t vibrate at the same frequency.

I am sick and tired of this place of 3D thinking. The old dated programming that people need to toss in the fire so it won’t ripple throughout the Universe. It already creates so much imbalance. I don’t want my beloved children and grandchildren to pick up such way of living. Honesty, authenticity, and integrity are everything for me. I rather feel offended than hearing a lie.

All I know right now is; I AM, I AM & I AM.
Grandma, what am I?

With all my adoration
Your little crystal child (in confusion)
Amara Crystallize Butterfly

Picture Creds: Mentor Arne Bjellebø.

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