Do you know what’s so frightening about an intimate relationship for me while in a physical body? It’s like giving away my fragile heart to someone and offer them the power to do whatever they want with my heart, while I silently pray inside me that they won’t have an intention to break it. That they will accept my empathic and sensitive nature because everything I feel is more intense than most. It’s scary when I can’t explain my emotions sometimes because I might feel them on a deeper and energetic level that I might respond and ask direct questions if I feel something is not right. While feeling so incredibly vulnerable once I open up and talk about my feelings towards someone I love. I have a tough shell, like cancer, but inside it’s soft yet delicate.
My physical body felt this vibration that I couldn’t explain. My body was shaking while my heart pounded rapidly. I had to breathe deeply and calm myself down and took time to respond because I know how messy it would be if I react with fear and panic. I had to embrace and accept myself for feeling this intense love and fear for open up for someone that means the world to me. I had to cry silently, and it was kind of beautiful just to let tears roll down my cheeks while I had my eyes closed. I had to bathe myself in soft love music, and no words were needed.
It’s a part of being a human with feelings. I am terrified for deep emotional feelings that I can’t control, but my Divine Mother assures me that it’s ok to feel that way, love carved in stone, and once my heart is open for intimate love, I had to go through all range of emotions. She assures that it’s ok and I am worthy to be respected and loved for who I am. Because it’s hard and tough for my human-self to express her vulnerability to someone, she doesn’t know would love her as deeply as she loved them.
It didn’t hurt, to tell the truth, and open up about my feelings, but I just had to cry because I feel this melancholy in my heart, the girl in me still waiting for her knight in shining armor. It’s you she is waiting for, her longing is my longing, you are my right partner, my true immortal love.
All I know is, I am going about my days with wonder and curiosity of who I truly am. I am willing to learn more about myself thoroughly, my Divinity and my personality blue print.
It’s clear that I have to forget the self-image that people imposed on me in my childhood and also throughout all my lifetimes. Everything that this world taught me and the 3D program that was on my mind for so long – the beliefs of my self-worth and self-respect as a woman doesn’t depend on what I have been through and how sensitive I was since birth.
The duality of the 3D world shouldn’t look at as something inferior and less judged – because what’s best? Right or wrong, light or dark, up or down, tall or short, beautiful or ugly, slim or thick, strong or weak, sensitive or insensitive, warm or cold. Opposite served a purpose, and everyone has a preference, something they are more attracted to. Why do we have to compare? Why should there be negative or positive? Everything has its meaning, and if we drop the judgmental lens of the ego, put the judge in us to rest. And be truthful about our feelings, instead of listening with the filter of the ego or let the ego react without mindfulness, we will be less drawn to drama and low self-esteem or caused other to feel unworthy. Why can we just make the best out of what we have within us and be grateful? Living in harmony by respecting the difference, and be grateful for All That Is.
I just accept that there are things I prefer, and there are things I would rather be without, besides I have a choice and a voice. I can stand up for myself as a Goddess, a Queen who possess the sacred Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. And I surely have to protect my vulnerability intelligently by drawing a line, set up boundaries, maintain my space and have the freedom to feel the way I am feeling, and love freely, passionately without fear of being judged. I can’t compromise my sacred way of being, as a celestial, star being, I can’t accept less than I deserve and I don’t want to lower my standards.
I am a member of the Galatic Federation. I embody the Goddess essence, and that’s my heritage for being a Divine being.
I can’t lie to myself, less lie to someone else. It pains me immensely when I am not truthful to myself. Because when I am not honest with myself, it’s clear that you will know and it would pains you too because it hurts when the one you love lie to you or hide true feelings from you when you already know on all level.
So my love, embrace the human side of you, the side of you that fear the sense of darkness inside of you. It isn’t there to be hated or feared but to be balancing with acceptance, forgiveness, and love and besides it gives you the courage to shine even more, because it taught you to be resilient and robust, so that you can protect the vulnerability of being a human.
Your vulnerability is beautiful, and it’s even more attractive to me when you are being honest about it and are authentic with integrity.
I still live to this day after so much torment to my soul, but I didn’t give up no matter how many obstacles presented in the wake of life. My self-persistent is my reward because I want to live for you, I will take care of myself and love myself so that this unconditional love I have for you can radiate to all. In faith that you will awaken to see, feel, hear and sense me.
The Goddess of Pleasure, your Sacred Divine Feminine.
Little Sweet Seraph,