Sorrowful Cry

Beloved Heart,

My Divine Mother urges me to follow my unique self, to be an original and not a copy of anyone else work, so she had to come through and give me direction by amplifying my feelings and emotions so that I once again can remember how unique I am.

My heart is vibrating out sorrowful cry to which I thought I would never have to experience again since I know who I am. Because of the sadness, I can hear the plea from my soul, and it pleads me to surrender and refrain from doing something to prove everyone else of my existence.

I feel somehow so helpless since I want to do something to help spread the love and truth, but as I try to share myself, I find it’s wrong and not appropriate to do so, it’s like the magic dispel once I try to verbalize this love I have inside me. I can’t speak in a tongue I’m not familiar with, my tongue got stiff especially when it comes to the competitive way of showing that I know something most doesn’t know about or that I’m intelligent and creative in expressing my feelings. I’m not here to compete with anyone, and I’m not here to race through life to reach the finish line so that I can go home.

My way of “doing” my job is different. All I know is I’m the unconditional love that God has bestowed upon humanity. I’m not fond of speaking about how love should be like or converse about how to be peaceful or attain peace.

I have wandered all my life, trying to escape the emotions and thoughts which weigh me down, I wanted peace of mind and tranquility in my heart. I tried to run and hide from everything that shackled me inside the prison of hell, the darkness that kept lurking inside my mind was all too fearful, but now I know I can’t hide nor can I escape from something that I am a part of or is a part of me. I will no longer wander around in circles on earth just to flee from the darkness, but settle inside my heart and let my soul glow like a light beacon for those who fear the dark.

This sad cry reminds me to stop for a moment and take a deep look inside my heart and soul. It asked me; “What is your way of being?” The unique blueprint of my being is not to verbalize or explain what I know is right for me. Because each time I try to tell the truth that I know, a feeling that I have, words would spill out in a chaotic disorder from my mouth and leave me with a sense of confusion and embarrassment.

The explanation for why I feel such fault inside me is because the ego is too eager to “show” people of this magic I possess that it forgets who I am and what purpose it has for being my servant. My soul mission is to love and guide you home, and Divine Father God wants to experience how to be a human through me, and I want to experience how to be Him in a human body.

I will rather smile and observe people around me, while I let my poetic heart describe what it’s like to embody love and peace on the surface of Mother Earth through the written words.

I can’t be anyone else but myself.

Beaming love and light to your heart,
Amara Crystallize, The Seraphim.

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